Red Hot Chili Peppers – Californication

The perfect Chilis album, the right balance between hardcore funk and sensitivity. A close tie with BSSM for me, but Cali just about gets the edge being more concise. I'll never forget the many, many roadtrips Dad would kick off with the menacing bass riff of "Around the World". That riff is like the universe exploding and becoming whole all at once. One of THE most memorable album-openers of all time.

Aaaaand...here comes the obligatory comment about its mastering. I need not repeat what others have said a thousand times; all I can add is my own experience.

First: the pros. The raw, dry sound is what made it so memorable. It was the thing that TOLD you this is bad-boy funk. It stood out from literally everything else we as a family listened to, and left an impression on me. Unfortunately, that doesn't translate well to every stereo setup. It was damn good in the car and that's it.

Not all brickwall-limiting is equal, and compression can be useful when used tastefully. What Vlado Meller did here is not tasteful compression.

I think of dynamic range as not a single variable; rather every part of the frequency spectrum has its own dynamic range. Herein lies the rub: Californication is most damaged in the upper-midrange. THAT is the root cause of its notoriety, where most other 'low-DR' albums don't have such clout. Cali has a shrieking, fatiguing quality on good stereos, earbuds or cans, and the upper-mids are exactly the reason why.

The German Optimal-pressed, DMM-cut vinyl is only a little better. It's cut from the CD master, albeit with Optimal's 'warmer' treble-muted EQ. Granted, it does tame the harshness somewhat, and make it sound fuller in the mids and low-end, and give it the smallest smidgen of separation. But the digital clipping is STILL there, and "Parallel Universe" is still nigh-on unlistenable. I WANT that raw sound -- and yet why can't I have it without those effin' shrieking upper-mids???

There is a near-perfect sounding version of this album. It's the fan-made Dynamic Edit remaster by Dynamic Editor on YouTube. I swear upon this blue salt-filled earth, in the 20+ years I've known Californication, there has NEVER been a version that has sounded more 'Chilis'. What this guy did is use a software to attempt to restore as many dynamic peaks as possible wherever the signal clips.

I am shocked and surprised at the results. Finally, Cali sounds like BSSM and Stadium Arcadium do: a musician's album. Flea's bass actually feels like a mfin' Fender Jazz Bass, with all the tone, growl and groove -- which elevates "Right On Time" from great to downright bitchin'. The drums are incredibly clear and punchy. "Parallel Universe" is a face-melter, not an ear-bleeder. You can follow along with Frusciante. And, most of all, the drum machines in "Around the World"'s chorus are so crisp and clear, it's like a light shining down from heaven.

All this, while keeping the raw, dry sound that gave Cali its edge. Does it still sound 'boxy' with a slightly congested soundstage -- yes, but the shrieking upper mids are done away with for good. Salvation!

The only catch? There are some MP3-esque swooshing artifacts from the de-clipping process...but it's a sacrifice I'm willing to make, because everything else is like never before.

I've never fully listened to the out-of-sequence, 'unmastered' rough mix the fans consider the best. But having compared the German vinyl, a needledrop of the 2012/2020 Chris Bellman mastering (which takes some parts from the unmastered mix), and the notorious original CD...this fan-made remaster stands head and shoulders above 'em all.

The only thing I have left to do is to secure a 2012/2020 vinyl and play it back-to-back against my German copy summed to MONO. Seeing as this album barely has any stereo separation, and mono fold-downs have given me fabulous acoustic results on pure mono records, who knows...it might just have a similar effect.